A tribute to Paul Orshoski, Sr. My dad.

I don’t really know where to begin but I knew it was more than a Facebook status, so I’m writing a blog.

Thirty-Seven years ago, I lost my dad, Paul Orshoski, Sr. - I was 16. I remember that day as if it were a scene from a movie that I have watched a hundred times. I visited him in the morning. He wasn’t talking, we communicated by looking into his eyes. His beautiful blue eyes.  I could tell he knew I was there.   He had lost most of his hair and he was so thin. Cancer. Being a sixteen-year-old, I didn’t fully understand how sick my dad really was. I thought he was going to get better, I really did.  I babysat my twin nieces that evening and had been talking to my mom and sister at the hospital on the phone. (We didn’t have cell phones to keep in touch back then) When my sister got home, we rushed to the hospital. The image of him lying in that hospital bed, lifeless, is an image I will never forget.  Sometimes, the memories coming flooding back as if it was yesterday, and other times it seems as if it happened to someone else. 
Time truly is the great healer and the heartache subsides and I let wonderful memories fill my heart.  I used to feel so cheated, well let’s be honest, I was cheated.  My dad didn’t see me graduate, walk me down the aisle or see my children be born……..

This isn’t about making anyone sad. To say his death didn’t have an impact on my life would be foolish; my dad’s life inspired me to be better, to do better.   I had intended to do a “Things I learned from my dad” post when it dawned on me that I was so young, the lessons I learned could be different than my siblings.  I didn’t get to know my dad as an adult.  There are fifteen years between me and my oldest sister. Really a generation. My dad was almost 40 when I was born.  Just think about how different you were at 25 compared to 40.  I’m not saying I didn’t know my dad, but I knew my dad as a teenager knows their dad, and that dynamic is well, you’ve been a teenager…..  I asked my siblings what dad taught them and combined them with my memories.  (My mom always told me it was good to write out my thoughts and I don’t write near as much as I did when I was younger.)

My dad was funny, the king of dad jokes.  His shop at Falter Plumbing and Heating was next to a cemetery and he told me once people were “dying to get in”……and I seriously thought it was the funniest thing I had ever heard in my life.  We used to ride our bikes to the store in Bay View a lot, and I asked him for some money and he handed me a pocketful of washers.  He said it was Japanese money and I road my bike up, handed them the money and they laughed so hard. I was SO mad! (LOL)  I can still hear him saying “It’s Japanese money, honey.”

Two simple words that every one of my siblings said something about it: Work Ethic.  
He was up early and worked long hours to provide for his family. Our dad was a journeyman plumber. I remember him telling me once if you are going to dig ditches, you dig the best ditches.  Work hard, harder than anyone.  No excuses -go to work. If you want something done, do it yourself.  He would do anything for anybody, day or night.  I can’t even begin to tell you how much our phone rang for him after hours and he would literally drop everything and go.  This reminds me of an extremely funny story. Back “in the day” we didn’t have cell phones or even call waiting. If you were on the phone, others got a busy signal.  One fun thing you could do was dial your own phone number and hang up and it would ring back.  My dad was in the bathroom, I made the phone ring and as per usual yelled “Dad, it’s for you………….”  He comes out of the bathroom mumbling some words I can’t repeat along with “Can’t anyone take a message around here” and he went to the phone with nobody there (coincidentally it was April 1) I yelled APRIL FOOLS!  I honestly don’t remember his reaction, but I still laugh when I think about how clever I was.  The phone rang a lot.  As a teenager, this was NOT cool for me.  My parents gave me my own phone, with my own phone number, in my bedroom, a pink princess phone.  (I’m gonna leave that right there…..) Younger folks won’t think this is a big deal. Trust me…it was!

He didn’t talk about it a lot to me, but he was a veteran, serving in the US Navy and was a boiler operator on a ship at the end of WWII.  He dropped out of school to join the navy. Years after his death my family attended a ceremony where we received his honorary Margaretta High School Diploma.  As my brother Paul said dad taught him, Book Smarts wasn’t as important as Life Smarts. 

He was a coach. He coached youth baseball, church softball and girls softball. He cared about teaching kids to learn the game, not just win.  He was faithful. He always said the Lord’s prayer before every game with every team I ever watched him coach.   Not all of my memories of dad as a coach are great, he coached my team one year. I accused him of being hard on me because I was his daughter and once I took a bad bounce to the face and he told me “Don’t cry, throw the ball”. (And I flung it to first base). He took us for ice cream after every game.  My brother said he taught him to hit to right field. (Probably because Mom always said we were out in left field…)  He loved baseball.   He loved all sports.  I remember visiting him once in the hospital and I had my MHS Track sweatshirt on and he told me that track was good, because it was an individual sport and you could always improve yourself.

He attended church, not just attended, but was active.  My dad was a servant. He served others, another thing all of my siblings said, he truly thought of others before himself. My dad was a true leader.

He liked to fish.  My mom (Joyce) didn’t like the water and he wanted a boat, and he bought this little boat and he worked really hard one evening and brought us out to see the name of the boat…. The “Jolly Joyce”.  I am sure my mom was not amused. How fun would it have been to videotape her reaction?

He was a fan. He was a fan of all things Ohio; The Indians, the Buckeyes the Browns (Art Modell fired Paul Brown, just glad he wasn’t around when Art Modell took our team away). I can’t forget the Margaretta Polar Bears, president of the booster club. He sold raffle tickets like it was his job.  He supported his local community with enthusiasm.   I suppose this is where my passion comes from.  We put the FAN in Fanatic! 

He was respected. He was loving and kind. He didn’t judge others; he respected and liked people from all walks of life.  He always had a smile on his face and said things could always be worse.  He didn’t know a stranger and everywhere we went, he knew someone, and it didn’t matter where we went. 

Above and beyond everything I have said about my dad, he was a family man. That should have been first, but I saved the best point for last.  He loved his family and said to take care of your family.  Family is everything.  He loved everyone unconditionally and not just a provider but a protector. My sister said it best, we always felt safe when dad was there.
He never went to bed without saying “I love you, honey.”  I don’t remember him ever yelling or being angry.  
I remember road trip vacations and singing “I’ve been working on the railroad” (as do my siblings) and his  ’76 Olds Cutlass Supreme with an 8-track tape player and the only tape we had was Perry Como, and my dad couldn’t carry a tune.  “Killing me softly with his song”…..oh the irony!  

This past year I lost my brother Matt after a long battle with MS.  He was my bridge to my past…to my siblings and to my parents. Two of the most influential men in my life are now gone and their impact on my life has been bigger than any words could ever say.

I have other great men in my life: I have my two older brothers Paul, Jr. and Todd ,  I have always looked up to them and even though we don’t see each other often, I know they are there for me.
My husband, he is my anchor. He keeps me steady and rides the waves of life with me and loves me unconditionally.
I can’t imagine doing life without him.
My sons.  I can’t even begin to describe my love for them. They need to know– They are my reason for living!  Being a mom, their mom, is the proudest accomplishment in my life.  They are amazing young men!  
It’s not all about the men in my life, I can’t forget my sisters Dorene and Robin, who are without a doubt the best friends a girl can have.   My mom…..she was both mother and father to me for most of my life -but I’ll save that for another day.

I’ve rambled….and I want to thank my brothers and sisters for their input.  I realize that even though I always felt like I didn’t know dad as well as they did, maybe I knew him better than I thought.  It used to baffle me when people had parents and didn’t talk to or see them much but as I’ve gotten older, I realize not everyone has great parents.  I have said since I can remember that I had the perfect childhood and I stand by that.  Growing up in Bay View, Ohio was something that TV shows or movies are made from. I was raised by the best and the legacy that Paul and Joyce O. created is something I am proud of.

I miss you dad.

Pictured is my dad,me, and Matt O. Approx. 1969-70 (Notice my glove on wrong hand)